Script #1

Scene 1:
It starts out in alaska. There are a bunch of eskimos drilling for oil to power their slushy machine. They drill deeper than they ever have one day to discover a secret super stealthy tunnel. They follow the tunnel until they reach the end, by then it is so dark that they can't even see what is going on. Then out of no where an eskimo's head goes flying and blows up with blood shooting out everywhere. Somebody lights a candle to see the ferocious beast, TOM JONES!!! TOM JONES may be a vegetarian, he also may not be, but he still has a passion to kill. For the rest of the eskimoes, Tom Jones does a super swift
sweep and takes all of them down to their knees. Then he spits out icecycles out of his mouth without thinking twice about it, from the cold arctic weather and plunges a guy in both of his eyes. Another eskimo, hidden behind the monster, tries to sneak up but he didn't realize that Tom Jones can summon his super powers to read minds. And before the eskimo knew it, Tom Jones cut him in half at his torso with its super rad claws of death. Tom Jones 37, Eskimoes 0

scene 2:
For the sake of the eskimoes safety they summon Frank Mirkowski (Greek for "Great Pain in Ass"). Frank puts on his super scuba gear and flies his invisible hovercraft skateboard to the oil site where Tom Jones was known to live. He got there really fast since the hoverboard has rocket engines on it. Which is totally awesome! As prepared as Frank was, he he still under estimated theTom Jones technology. Tom Jones had a suit he could wear that made him partially invisible and like 5 times more powerful than the average washed up lounge singer. As Frank arrives at the spot, Tom Jones shoots right out without thinking twice about it of the ground and knocks him off of his sweet hoverboard. Before Frank could even get up, Tom Jones does a triple D flip into the great Tom Jones pounce and crushes Frank's chest. Frank then was parallyzed, but Tom Jones didn't stop, he picked frank up by his hair and ripped his head off which remained connected to the spinal cord that dangled back and forth in the air. Alaska was surely screwed, but then Tom Jones realized how much Alaska kind of sucked and decided to travel to the Eastern lands. Tom discovered much more area and later named it Canada, home of the pirates.

P.S. After writing this script i had nightmares that i was an eskimo for weeks and had to sleep with the lights on from fear of Tom Jones biting my ankles. AWESOME!

 

In the streets of Tokyo, there were some ninja's and some pirate's fighting for control of the city. Then Tom Jones strolled by. The ninja's and pirate's were like "what ev" and kicked him aside, like most people do. Tom Jones gets totally pissed. Then Tony Bennet  totally comes out and sings "Fly Me to the Moon?" which totally pumps the audience up because Tom Jones breaks his neck like a toothpick. Tom Jones, with his cunning speed popped like 24 boners and knocks all the ninja's back to nebraska. Since pirate's like boners, they were salvating and then Tom Jones totally wails out on this guitar without thinking twice about it and there heads explode! Now Englebert Humperdinck is wailing with his guitar which is totally awesome! Then Tom Jones flips out and kills Alan Thicke! Sweet!